A Love That Counts

Featuring John Jerameel Cruzada and Amaleen Mariepraise Nicole Ungson

We loved each other so much, we got married 3 times in a year.

OUR FIRST had 10 people, including Jay and myself. After severe beating from a 24-month pandemic lockdown, our planned guest list of 250 was stripped bare to only our parents and siblings. Our hearts were heavy, and I remember that dark day we decided to postpone our Church wedding. All preparations were in place, but 3 weeks leading to the event, our guests started to cancel one-by-one. By a week away, 90% of our guests had begged off, as the threat of the Omicron-variant loomed large globally. Our hearts were crushed; we had spent 2 years preparing each detail for a special celebration that would bring our family and friends together. And now, it all had to be dropped.

But we were determined to keep our original wedding date. It was too special to disregard. This was the day Jay asked me to be his girlfriend 14 years ago, and 2 years later, his wife.

We drove across town, one isolated unit headed towards a quaint chapel in the outskirts of the city. This was the only place that took our request on such short notice. I walked down the aisle “not” in the wedding dress I planned, with flowers “not” from the bouquet we had requested. I wanted to weep in that silent hall which was deafening in all its emptiness. But at the end of the path, I saw my beaming groom and our blessing of a family. At that moment, my heart burst in gratitude and I continued to walk forward.

OUR SECOND wedding came about 3 months later. We had always prepared for a double wedding day, as ours was a mixed religion family. I was raised Catholic, and Jay’s family had converted to the Christian faith.

Preparing a single wedding is already strenuous enough to the spirit. Preparing 2, and during the pandemic for that matter, was near impossible. There was twice the paperwork, twice the marriage seminars — twice all the effort, if we wanted to respect traditions from each religion.

But Jay and I remained steadfast in this decision. We knew it would lay foundation for how we would grow our family. We wanted our future children to see that love truly crosses barriers – that we can all hear Sunday Mass, but still actively participate in the Thursday Christian Married Group counsel. That despite having different traditions, we can contribute to greater harmony and cooperation across factions.

So that day in March, we first honored my Catholic faith in the morning, at a breathtaking Shrine. We were finally able to celebrate our union with the whole family.

OUR THIRD wedding celebrated Jay’s Christian faith. It was in the afternoon of the same day, and we planned an outdoor garden wedding. Since our day started at 3 am for preparations, we knew that most of the entourage and the wedding crew would have been hungry and tired by noon. Thankfully, our coordinators, La Belle Fete shared our vision and we trusted their process.

We setup a Food Fair with a variety of global cuisines, a Farmer’s Market, a Caricature Area, and an outdoor band to refresh our guests, while we prepared for the third and final ceremony. From our cottage a few steps away, I could hear our families mingling, laughing and enjoying themselves. I looked down on my 2^nd bouquet of flowers and succulents, a gift from our Wedding Stylist, and thought, “How apt.” Our journey has been that of both blooms and thorns, now united and radiant as ever. I stepped out of that room, and for the last time that year, in a lush green paradise, we promised forever, once again.